you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
