The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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