Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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