I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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