I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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