so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
