Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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