You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
