Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
