i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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