He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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