apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
