the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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