so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
