I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
