There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize
