I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
