A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
