even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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