im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
