Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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