did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
