North Korea, Best Korea!
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
