Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
