omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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