we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Threesome in a minivan. New low
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize