literally had 100 drinks last night.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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