I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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