you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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