Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
