we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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