John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
