Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
They are going to name an STD after you.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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