Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
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