Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
