We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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