I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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