i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
