What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
