Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
