looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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