You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
