Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Randomize
