so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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