Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
