i need an iv and a liver transplant
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
