Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
