I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So much rum. So many feels.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
