TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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