I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
