eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
