Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Naked. naked and bneed help.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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