Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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