Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
