The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
