Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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