Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
