covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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