I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
