For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
