we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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