i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
