Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
