Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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