I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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