weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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