At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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