I'm lost and stupid without you.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize