Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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