guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
